Navigating Friendships With Social Intelligence

During our Pastoral Lesson our students had the opportunity to engage in workshops with their Homeroom, led by facilitators from Toolbox Education. Students were guided through the workshops that focused on ‘Dealing with Conflict’ where students understood how to identify the causes of conflict, body language, expressing empathy and using assertive statements to address conflict.

The program was well received and our students provided positive feedback about the skills they were learning throughout the workshops. Here is an overview of the communication skills we are hoping our students can develop confidence in so that they are able to manage their relationships effectively.

Social Intelligence: Reading the Room

Social intelligence is about understanding emotions – both yours and others’. When a disagreement happens:

• Pause and listen – What is your friend actually upset about?
• Read their body language – Are they angry, hurt, or frustrated?
• Think before you react – Is this a moment to explain, apologise or take a break?

Being socially intelligent means stepping outside your emotions to see the situation clearly. Instead of instantly reacting, take a breath and try to understand where your friend is coming from.

Assertiveness: Standing Up for Yourself (Without Being Aggressive)

It’s easy to fall into one of two extremes in an argument:

• Being passive (not saying how you feel)
• Being aggressive (attacking the other person)

Instead, aim for assertiveness—clearly expressing your feelings while respecting the other person’s. Try using “I” statements:

• “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You always…”
• “I need us to talk this through” instead of “You’re being unfair.”

This approach keeps the conversation open rather than making the other person defensive.

Resilience: Bouncing Back from Disagreements

Not every argument will have a perfect resolution, and that’s okay.

Resilience means:

• Learning from the experience (What can I do differently next time?)
• Not holding onto resentment (Letting go of grudges helps you, too!)
• Recognising that a strong friendship can survive disagreements

If a disagreement lingers, ask yourself: Is this friendship worth working through the issue? If the answer is yes, be the one to take the first step towards repair.

Conflict Can Build Stronger Friendships

Handled well, disagreements don’t have to break friendships—they can strengthen them. By using social intelligence, assertiveness, and resilience, you’re building skills that will help you not only in friendships but in life.

Jessica Baddeley

Level Leader: Year 10